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Saturday, July 16, 2016

Be Bitter or Be Better

I know it’s been quiet here the past few Sundays. There seemed to be SO much hate in the world I was at a loss of words to say.

To try and understand “Why?” is just impossible.

My own father, Paul, had his life ended by a group of violent men when my mother was just three months pregnant with me. 

My mother Karen would pass on from a brain tumor just five short years later.

Some people might think I was cheated… that I had received the short end of a nasty stick… it would be totally  justified if I chose to be ANGRY.

I tried anger for a few years and guess where it got me? No where.

Now I want to clarify that the pain of losing my parents so young has never gone away. Even today there is pain. Pain at what was missed and what will continue to be missed.  Life’s big moments and the small. The pain is also generational. My children, at times, feel the pain of having no maternal grandparents.

But pain can be separated from anger.

You can learn from pain. Pain can bring understanding and empathy for others.

Anger tends to grow large around your heart. It can eventually engulf the heart and consume you.

I am thankful that almost 20 years ago I decided that instead of being bitter… I would be better.

Guess what that decision got me? LOVE, and love is everything.

Love is family, love is friends, love is home, love is happiness.

Yes, it IS that simple!

Bitter or better~ what will you decide?

Laura

“Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always strive to do what is good for each other and for everyone else.”  1 Thessalonians 5:15

18 comments :

Christine said...

"Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means you have decided to look beyond the imperfections." ~ Author Unknown
Laura, you have such a gift of expressing such a deep, deep emotion. It touched me.

bj said...

Such a beautiful and heartfelt post...thanks so much for starting my Sunday on such a positive note....xo

Eilis said...

Thank you for the beautiful inspiration. I am very sorry that you lost your parents too soon and in such sad ways. I am also very thankful that you have become the person you are.

Katie Mansfield said...

You know I can relate to this post. I lost both my parents by the time I was 17. I never thought about my children having sadness from not having my parents around. I just assumed that their sadness was from having an orphan as a parent. I don't know why our paths crossed, but I'm so glad they did. Great inspirational post.
Hugs to you, Laura.
Katie

Marty@A Stroll Thru Life said...

Such a beautiful post.

20 North Ora said...

So true Laura. I had some problems like this when we lost our four year old great grandson to cancer. But, time helps and it makes us realize that the Lord's plan is something we don't have to understand completely. Better is better than bitter definitely.

Judy

Cozy Little House said...

Such true words! I never knew my parents. Well, I met my mother a couple of times. She really didn't talk to me though. I have said at times that you can't miss what you never had. Still, there is a hole left by their absence. I'm sorry about your parents. You probably don't have many memories, and that is a shame. I do think pain makes you a better person. You have more empathy and compassion once you know pain.
Brenda

Angela Boone said...

Laura, thanks so much for posting this. You have lived a life with many painful moments but God had used your life as a witness to him. God bless you. You have certainly been a blessing to me. Love, Angela

Bonnie said...

You are a blessing to us all. This is a beautiful post. Well said.

Sarah said...

A beautiful post, Laura. I'm sad that you lost your parents at such a young age and also in a violent way. My brother was killed in a freak accident when his children were just three and five. That was 40 years ago, and just this week they lost their mom very suddenly and unexpectedly. I think growing up without a parent is very difficult for children, but choosing to be better rather than bitter is an excellent way to approach life. My niece and nephew did that, but the pain of the loss has forever lived in their hearts. Thanks for sharing this post.

Marilyn said...

You are a glowing example of handling adversity with grace and courage.

Marilyn (in Dallas)

happywonderer.com said...

Good and timely post. I'll choose better!

Blondie's Journal said...

Thoughtful and wonderful words. We need them now, Laura.

Jane

Stacey said...

Laura, you shared something so personal and expressed it so well. Perfect message for the crazy world right now. Wish this would go viral!

Cecilia Bramhall said...

Truer words were never spoken! I wrote a poem about being bitter or better several years ago. I choose to be better; the bitter just kept me stuck and miserable! This is a wonderful post. Thank you for sharing.
Cecilia

Pondside said...

I like this post as it reflects what I believe - that we have a choice in how we live. We can live in unhappiness and bitterness or we can live in light. I don't think it's always easy, but the rest of life is much better - and maybe even a little easier - when we re-frame angry thoughts or frustrations. I think that people who are bitter miss a whole lot of life!
I love your attitude!

deborah said...

Bless you, Laura. For your sweet words and sharing encouragement to reach for the better. To choose to embrace the good things and live the life you were given rejoicing in each day.

Magali@TheLittleWhiteHouse said...

I choose "better" all the way and that's what I teach my pupils. I do not believe in theories telling that the world was a better place before. History shows us that there are difficult times in different periods. I want my pupils to think they have as much chance at happiness as their parents. It's our daily job to make the world a better place... even if sometimes, we miss. I allow myself a little time for grieving when that happens, which slightly different than being bitter.