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Saturday, April 23, 2016

The Last Pick

I have first hand knowledge of being picked last in gym class.

I was as uncoordinated as plaid and stripes.

Because of that I can tell you that those red rubber balls really pack a punch.

Even worse, there were plenty of times I wasn’t even picked at all

…the 8th grade graduation dance, the Homecoming hoedown, the Christmas formal…. I could go on and on and tell you that on most occasions there are NO perks of being a wallflower.

This Laura Ingalls not only sported buckteeth but a bad Dorothy Hamill haircut.

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Most days I have outgrown ALL OF IT.

The loneliness.

Feeling ugly.

Unwanted.

But there is still a part of her, alive and well, within me. 

She shows up:

Any time I enter a crowded room of strangers.

When I have to speak publicly.

If I go shopping in an expensive store.

The truth is I will probably never fully outgrow her or eliminate my feelings of not fitting in.

That’s ok.

Such experiences have taught me to look beyond and find real love and acceptance.

To know that there is someone who will always choose me.

John 15:16-17 ~ "You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. This is my command: Love each other.":

You too are chosen.

Laura

“But God in his grace chose me even before I was born, and called me to serve him.” ~ Galatians 1:15

22 comments :

littlegraycottage said...

Oh sweet lady...I would have been your friend! I know the feelings too! I think you were cute in your photo....an all American girl!
It is a terrible thing to carry the years of school into the present but we all do it.
I have never posted before but couldn't help it today:)
Hugs to you from Shirley

Jeanie said...

Oh yeah. I was picked last. Went with my best friend to the ninth grade dance because we weren't asked by anyone else. And I'll always see it, even though now I'm finally comfortable in my skin. I have a photo of me with several friends taken back about 30 years ago. Carol and I had weight struggles always and we thought we looked so terrible then. I look at that photo now and think we looked like models! We were definitely thin but we never saw that. I saw my overbite and hips. Unruly curly hair. Oh, to have our wisdom now way back then...

I love this post. It is an extraordinary reminder that we are chosen, that someone will choose us. And did.

Marty@A Stroll Thru Life said...

I am so glad I know you in real life and what a special person you are. You are so amazing and so beautiful. Some don't grow into swans, but you difinitely did.

Theresa Ball said...

Laura We met in McKinney at KariAnne's event recently. You mentioned that you were looking for vintage Scouting items for you son''s
Eagle ceremony. I found some Scouting books in an antique shop in Covington LA. They said they could ship them to you (books are easy to ship I suppose). They were about $15 each. for the several I checked. I took photos them and would send to you If interested in pursuing these. Why I am in Louisiana? i am visiting my college roommate in Baton Rouge.
Let me know about the photos. Theresa

The Boston Lady said...

I have felt and experienced all of this too. It all contributes to who we eventually become and gives us great empathy for the underdogs in life. ❤️Ann

happywonderer.com said...

Bless you dearly as you embrace where your worth really comes from. Makes me thing of Jesus choosing His disciples. Not most peoples first choices for leadership at all. It's good to know we are chosen and have access to our Lord. Ouch I remember how horrible it felt to get hit by the red rubber ball!

Lori @ Dining Delight said...

I could have written this post as well but near as eloquently as you! Thanks for sharing as I know so many of us can relate. I am grateful that in the end, as you've pointed out, those things don't matter and what's important is that we are chosen by God to be His children. Wonderful post!

deborah said...

Oh, I love this! I think most everyone can relate. Even the people who always were picked first. We all have our times!

Love the picture you used for the shopping in an expensive store. :) :)

Karen Hess said...

Oh golly, those sick-to-your stomach pangs of feeling "unworthy," "not belonging," "what can I do to make myself better?".....UGH!! I do believe that going through that has helped to make us the strong, loving, empathetic women we are today. Rock On, Laura!! XO

Mrs. Cote said...

Beautiful post! My family moved around a lot when I was a child and I know these feelings all too well!

Botanic Bleu said...

Laura,
Oh, yes, I can relate. I attended 10 different schools in grades 1-8, and attended some of those schools more than once. All but one were in the same county in Alabama. Being the new kid who was rather plain looking was hard all the time. Thank goodness my family, including my extended family, was very stable and supportive. Those experiences helped me as a teacher (too many to list here.) Occasionally in my adult life those feelings of loneliness and rejection resurface, but like you, I know there is One that is always constant in His love and care for me. For eternity.

Your photo shows a great All-American girl with a wonderful smile. Your smile is still wonderful.

Judith

Katie Clooney said...

Great post, Laura. Wish we went to school together so I would have some company when I was the last one standing when it came to being picked. I agree about walking into a crowded room of people as well. I'm sure a lot of people can relate. Have a wonderful week and thanks for writing such a thoughtful post!

Fox and Finch Antiques said...

Hi Laura,
I was never picked either. I dislike sports to this very day. We never get over that stuff completely. It was painful! I didn't figure out until 8th grade that I could start a new group and we had a lot of fun and adventures. I know one thing for sure and that is that if I had a girl in my class that was related to the Little House Laura, I would have been in awe!
Ginene

GARAGE SALE GAL said...

I can so relate!! I was chosen last in gym...ugh...I wasn't popular,I am shy when I don't know people or in new situations, ETC. ETC. I love your post today. Thank you!
warmly,
deb

Katie Mansfield said...

Great post. I was always chosen last too. Dodge ball and red rover were the worst.
Have a wonderful week, Sweet Laura.

Art and Sand said...

What a beautiful post!

And the thing is, as I have aged and gained wisdom, most people, even those we think "have it all together" feel the same way. I am co-chairing on my 50th high school reunion and the conversations we are having are so funny and interesting. The kids we thought were so confident were winging it!

Janet Garon said...

Oh, honey talk about puberty and some of the horrors that I went through! I had horrible teeth and my complexion was a nightmare. I wanted to go to the dermatologist and was so nervous about it that I threw up on the way there. Meanwhile the orthodonist like to show off my befores to anybody he could because he had done such a good job to this terrible mess. I don't do crowds. You are so not alone!

Ramblings of a Southern Girl ~ Rhonda G said...

Great post... and I absolutely love the verse image you paired with it! Just perfect! I'm going to share it on my FB page Sunday. You are a beautiful lady, inside and out! :) ~Rhonda

Lisa said...

Such a lovely post Laura.

christy @ theharperhouse said...

wow, I just love this post Laura! I randomly stumbled onto your blog from another ORC room - but seriously needed to hear this today! I love it when God puts just the right words in front of us just when we need to hear them. Thanks so much for your encouraging words - love your blog too, btw! :)

lynn cockrell said...

Oh, Laura, I can relate to feeling insecure, skinny, knock-kneed and gangly. I was definitely not the first to be picked. I wanted to try out for the basketball team when I got into highschool. Back then,PE was pretty much mandated for everyone and the girls had to wear those awful one-piece, elastic waist, bloom-bottom jumpsuits. The man who taught PE in our highschool was also the basketball coach. He humiliated me when he bellowed "Get those long legs out there, Rogers!" After that, I knew I didn't want a gym full of people looking at my ugly legs. Thankfully, God saw my worth and I was blessed to have a daddy who also did and he was always there for me with encouraging advice. Just like our Heavenly Father!

Magali@TheLittleWhiteHouse said...

I was also picked last... or not picked at all. Now I'm perfectly confident with my pupils, but I still can't face going into an expensive store!