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Sunday, February 22, 2015

More

It’s been a week when God had given me MORE than I can handle. Yep, too much. I’m done.

I am sure that people mean well when they say “He never gives you more than you can handle”.

But that is not the truth.

Earlier this week Mr. Décor’s dear cousin, Shelley, lost her battle with cancer.

Then I learned that my mother Nadine’s brother, my Uncle Kit, had suddenly passed away.

The very next day I was told my Uncle Bill had passed away.

I just….can’t.

Bill Ray 002

My Uncle Bill was married to my Aunt Jan, my mother Karen’s sister. I lived with them in various stages of my childhood.

Bill Ray 001

Jan, Bill and Laura, Christmas 1972.

I’m not exactly sure of my emotions right now. At times there is sort of a fist shaking anger.

The mean, selfish part of me wants to say:

“Hey God why don’t you give someone else a chance to grieve? Because I have had ENOUGH!”

Yep, wishing grief on other people. Nice.

Bill Ray 004

So much of the weight in my heavy heart is for this guy, my sweet cousin Eric.

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Laura age 3, and Eric, age 1.

Like myself, he is an only child. My aunt passed on a few years ago. How well I know that there is a certain extra heaviness that comes when you lose your remaining parent.

Bill Ray 003

He is just five hours away from me and I don’t want him to be alone. Because…he’s not. I am so thankful that we have each other.

Bill Ray 005

I also know that this is true:

and believe this:

I’ll be taking some time away so I can be exactly where I need to be.

Laura

24 comments :

Betty from My Irish Cottage Home said...

I am so sorry and my prayers are with you. Take one day at a time.

Auntie Em said...

My heart goes out to you. There are no words which are going to take away the pain and bad feelings you are dealing with. Losing one person is difficult enough to deal with but losing all these special and wonderful people at one time is enough to make your heart feel truly shattered.
Take your time with grieving and healing. I will be thinking of you. {{{hugs}}}

marty (A Stroll Thru Life) said...

You know you are in my thoughts and prayers. So sorry for so much loss. God Bless.

Rita C. said...

Yes, that feeling when your remaining parent is gone is hard, still is. You are going right where you are needed. Safe travels.

Judy Ann Lincicum said...

So sorry for all the turmoil in your heart right now. God wants us to turn to Him, even when you are at the end of your rope. Tell Him how you truly feel through all the stages you will go through, and He will direct your path. My prayers and thoughts go out to you, and my heart breaks for you right now. How hard it must be!

Vicki said...

My deepest condolences to you and your family at this very tough time.

Cindy said...

I am sorry to hear of the losses and know your heart is heavy at this difficult time. Take the time to grieve and be with your loved ones. Wishing you much brighter days ahead!

Christine said...

Oh, Laura!
I'm saying a pray for you and your family.

{{{{{HUGS}}}}

Jan Tanis said...

Oh Sweetie...I'm sorry for your loss. God IS with you. I will be praying for you!

Hugs,
Jan ♥

Karena Albert said...

It feels so terribly unfair and I am so sorry for you to have to endure this Laura.
My daughter is alive; however there are times I feel I have lost her completely, then I will see a glimmer of light and I always thank God for her daughter, my Isabella. She is fifteen though and how long can we keep our closeness while the outside world infringes on a teenagers life. Prayers, prayers and more prayers.

xoxo
Karena
The Arts by Karena

Maureen Wyatt said...

I'm so sorry that you have to bear so much grief. Sometimes, it seems as if there is nothing but pain and sadness and that things will never feel good again. It will pass, at least the acute suffering will, but that is little consolation while you are caught in the misery of it all. If it helps at all, I'm thinking of you and feeling very sorry for what you are going through.

Bonnie said...

Laura, Very sorry for your losses. Tough time. You will be in my prayers.

Magali@TheLittleWhiteHouse said...

Laura, I'm sorry to read that post. I hope you and your cousin will help each others. Hugs.
Magali

lytrooretreat said...

Laura, I'm so sorry. Take as much time as you need. I will be praying for you. - Karen

lynn cockrell said...

Laura, I am so very sorry for your losses. How very overwhelmed you must be feeling! I will be praying for you and your family as you all go through this terribly trying time and that the Holy Spirit will give you comfort and peace.

Lorrie said...

Oh, Laura, I'm so sorry for all the grief you are enduring these days. I pray that you and Eric will be a comfort to each other as you spend time together. Praying for the comfort of God to wrap around you in love.

Pinky at Designs by Pinky said...

SOOO sorry for so much loss!!! Everyone needs to grieve in their own way, there is no wrong way. Anger is OK. I, too, have been fist shaking mad at God. But He can take it. He still loves you, just as you love your children when they are angry at you. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs.

Susan Nowell @ My Place to Yours said...

Laura, I'm so sorry for all of your losses. Some things just can't be explained this side of heaven... I'm praying for you as you do the hard work of grieving even as you minister to family members.

Pat@Life At Lydias House said...

I am so sorry to hear of so much to bear in one week. I am praying that you will be comforted by the Holy Spirit as you work through this. Remember His strength is perfect when our strength is gone.

Kelley said...

I am deeply sorry for your losses, dear Laura.

Prayers your way,
Kelley~

sarah said...

I am so sorry for your losses.

Jaybird said...

Sweet girl....I will be keeping you in my thoughts. There will be special hands reaching down from heaven to give you strength and support.
Blessings to you,
J

Fairhope Supply Co. said...

I'm so behind on my reading, that I just now found this post and am shocked at what you've had to endure in one short week. So sorry to hear of your losses, but am so glad that you know who gives you strength. Hugs and prayers to you and your family.

Elizabeth RusticMaple said...

So much loss, and in such a short time. My thoughts are with you and your family.