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Friday, May 9, 2014

My Favorite 5 ~ Deborah

Good Morning, Decor to Adore Readers. I'm Deborah McCarthy from The Fairfield House and am honored to be contributing to Laura's wonderful blog.

This weekend is Mother's Day and as such, women everywhere will be given tokens of love and appreciation -- cards, candy, flowers, phone calls, perhaps a visit and taken out for a meal. My mother will be 81 next month and lives in our home. With that in mind, I decided to share my Favorite Five Gifts to Give An Older Parent.

Happy Mother's day!

1). Your presence, not presents mean more than anything you could purchase or create. When you've lived as long as my mother, you've accumulated a lot of items. Although she treasures her collections and each holds sentimental value, none keep her company when I am busy and she sits alone in her room. Give the thing you most value that cannot be replaced, your time. I'm not referring to showing up and sharing the same space out of obligation, but rather connecting in love with gratitude; being engaged in their company and taking an interest in them. Old people have stories to tell and lessons learned. Listen, ask questions, take notes. Go through photo albums. These people are the life lines to our past.

old lady

Keep reading for 4 more special gifts!

2).  If distance is an obstacle pick up a pen and commit to writing at least one letter a month. Most of the elderly are not members of social media networks so include a photograph. It's not so much what you write but that they mattered enough that you took the time to write. If you have children encourage them to do the same. 
You can’t reread a phone call or linger over the beautiful or illegible script of an email or twitter. A handwritten note is personal and the process of heart to brain to hand to pen to paper shows you care. It takes more effort to mail. You cannot simply press a button to send. You must purchase a stamp, affix this miniature piece of art to the card and walk to a mail box. Real mail is an investment of time, thought and a few coins.

3.) Offer your services. Provide transportation, groceries, medications, landscaping, housekeeping, cook a meal, schedule and escort them to a salon or barber. if you are able and the person is struggling financially, pay a monthly utility bill.

4.)  Make a date. Once a week or month, do something special with the persons limitations and interests in mind -- an appropriate movie, meal, an "adventure". It doesn't have to cost anything. A stroll in a park or visit to a local zoo does the heart and soul good.

5.)  Give a gift of well being. I recently brought my mother for a massage. The masseuse specialized in geriatrics and was very gentle. My mother was hesitant and afraid of the unknown, so at her request I remained seated in the corner of the room.  My mother enjoyed the experience so much she is now scheduled for one massage a month!  By manipulating the body and stimulating the mind, massage provides the perfect balance needed for an individual’s health to thrive.


Mother’s Day can be hard for many people -- women who's mothers or children are no longer living. My heart hurts for all of you but I ask that you consider Galatians 5:13 "Serve one another in love." Somewhere in your community there is an old person spending the day alone. You can change that. 

Here's hoping all mother's feel loved today.

Happy mother's day!

Deborah is one of my dearest “true life” friends. She possesses one of the sweetest, kindest souls I have ever met. Her Fairfield House facebook page lifts me up on a daily basis. Thank you for inspiring us today Deborah!



Craftymoose Crafts said...

Beautiful post!

My Cottage Charm said...

So beautiful Deborah.....I love your heart, and goodness I miss our chats! We need to plan a talking or letter writing session soon! :-D I love both you, and kindred spirits for sure!

Sarah said...

Beautiful, Deborah! My grandmother lived with us when I was a child. It was truly a blessing to have that special time together. Your mother is fortunate that you lovingly care for her in your home.
The five gifts are so perfect. I think spending time doing something fun and simple together is a wonderful suggestion as well as the notes and letters when out of town. I wish I had written to my mom more often.
Happy Mother's Day to both you and your mom.
Thanks, Laura for hosting Friday Favorites.
Happy Mother's Day to you too!

Savannah Attic said...

Just Beautiful and perfect!! I Loved it!!
Thank You

Rita C. said...

Such good suggestions, all!

Susan said...

What a beautiful post. Loved it. Deborah has it pegged to the "t."

Thanks to you, too, Laura.

Hope many elderly sweethearts will be especially remembered this Mother's Day. Susan

Chubby Chieque said...

Hi Laura,

A beautiful gesture to honour our Mothers & honour us.

Love your way.

Happy Mother's Day to & all your readers.


Karena Albert said...

Lovely thoughts and images Laura. I wish you a wonderful Mother's Day!
The Arts by Karena

Jane said...

What a beautiful and thoughtful post! Thank you for all the suggestions, and for considering those who are alone.
Happy Mothers' Day!

openid said...

Thank you all for your kind comments. Thank you, Laura Ingalls Gunn for your inspiration shared creativity,the opportunity to contribute to your beautiful blog and friendship!
Happy Mother's Day!

Maureen Wyatt said...

What a beautiful Mother's Day post she has written! It's full of love and wisdom and a great reminder of the things that really matter to parents. It's true that time and being engaged is all that matters truly.

Art and Sand said...

What a beautiful post.

I am nearly 20 years younger than your mother and I have to say I don't really want anything for Mother's Day except to be with my family. Like you said, presence is more important than presents.