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Sunday, December 15, 2013

Be Bigger This Christmas

This post is not about Christmas cookies, chocolate Chanukah coins, egg nog, fudge, French onion dip or any of the 1000 other holiday goodies this season.

It is about being a better person, having a bigger heart.

Because the holidays can bring out the worst in us. We can become monsters when faced with an overload of stress brought on by traffic, crowds, a shortage of sweaters, finances and family dinners!

I knew a little girl who didn’t like Christmas at all. Not the nativity portion of the program, but the other stuff. The stuff that is very far removed from the true reason for the season.

Growing up she had two families. Both families wanted her to spend the holidays with them.

No matter how hard she wished to be split in two, every year she was forced to make the decision as to who she would spend the holidays with.

It was very difficult to be a child and be saddled with such a decision. How often she wished the adults would decide for her. But even so, there was something even worse.

It didn’t matter that she always took turns between the two houses, tried being helpful, or acted really good. Whichever adult she decided not to spend the holiday with was disappointed. For a people pleaser such as herself this was sheer agony.  

Sadly, the adults were probably now even aware of the pain the situation caused.  

But it left a mark. She HATED the holidays.

As an adult I thought of that little girl when I became a divorced mother of a darling daughter.

It is, and always has been, more important to me that I put my child’s feelings before my own.

Of course Mr. D├ęcor, Sweet Guy and I ALWAYS want her with us. But as a family it is more important to us that she is free to feel happy.

If I begin to feel sad or sorry for myself I try to focus on how blessed she is to have other people that love her and want to spend time with her.

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There are many things we have no control over during the holidays season. I listed only a few above. But we do have control over a few things.

 How we respond to stressful situations.

How we act towards others.

We can decide, we can choose to be the light.

Let it shine,

Laura

“Many are asking, Who can show us any good? Let the light of your face shine upon us, O LORD.” ~ Psalm 4:6

“While I am in the world, I am the light of the world." ~ John 9:5

“There is no selfish in Christmas.” Sweet Boy age 9

13 comments :

Julie Tucker-Wolek said...

Amen!! Loving that sweet photo of you two!!!

Susan Nowell @ My Place to Yours said...

Well said, Laura! As the once-divorced mother of two little girls, I knew well the potential for adding stress to their young lives, and I would NOT play that horrible game. It's up to each of us to choose to "be bigger" than the pettiness and selfishness. Our kids just get one childhood...

I've enjoyed catching up on your last week's posts this morning. Your garland does indeed look festive enough to forgo a tree -- and you can do or get through ANYTHING with that dear man by your side. Happy belated birthday to him ... and Chritsmas blessings to you and yours. Enjoy your break from school!

Karena Albert said...

Laura, I hope that your words of wisdom enlighten many! I truly wish that people no longer gave material gifts for the holidays. It has all gotten so out of hand.I see more people stressed out than ever and it is a sad sight! There is so much more we can give each other.

xoxo
Karena
The Arts by Karena

Dawna Motz said...

Thanks for sharing some of your heart with us! I am glad that you are able to "share" your sweet daughter and think of her feelings before your own. May you enjoy the reason for the season, and I know God will bless your big heart!

Blondie's Journal said...

This is a perfect time for this post. Jealousy can rear it's ugly head during the best of times. Now that I have two married children, I have to "share" them with the in laws!! I told them to do what THEY want to do.

Lovely picture, Laura!

XO,
Jane

Karena Albert said...

Oh Laura, forgot to mention ..
I am having a Scalamandre Giveaway!
xoxo
Karena

Pinky at Designs by Pinky said...

I so agree!!! It is horrible when adults use their children as bargaining chips and put all that STRESS on them!!! It is so unfair. God bless you for doing the right thing for your daughter, she will always love you for it. XO

Kelley said...

Agreed, ladies. Oh, the difference a loving response makes. I've recently been teaching "Start at the finish." What kind of taste do I want to leave in someone's mouth? What fragrance or scent do I want to linger after I've stepped away? What memories do I want to evoke? God help us to be the Titus 2 women He's anointed us to be, called us to be, reflecting Him.

Excellent post. Wish everyone could read it and believe it every day of the year.

Happy highways,
Kelley~

Christine said...

I too, love the photo of you two.

If we could stop and think of what others want, not what we want.

The Quintessential Magpie said...

I love you, Laura!

xoxoxo

Vel Criste said...

A BIG AMEN to that! CHEERS! Hope I can do it too!

Julie Tucker-Wolek said...

Told you those jingle bells were calling my name *wink* http://thetuckerwolekclan.blogspot.com/2013/12/do-you-see-what-i-see.html

Sally Kelly said...

Yes! Beautifully put! xo ~Sally