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Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Why Do Fools Fall In Love? Thoughts On Marriage

Falling in love is the easy part. That wonderful time of stolen glances, fingertips touching, whispers of affection and fantastically fast heartbeats. Just the mere remembrance of that time brings a smile to my face.

Marriage Holding Hands

The hard part is STAYING IN LOVE. It’s bone crushing, soul weary, hard headed, mind boggling, downright difficult work.

I can give you many, many reasons why Mr. Décor and I should have divorced long ago according to major statistics. Oh, you want the list? Ok.

Moving.

More than once. Sometimes three times in one year. Thank you United States Air Force.

One move was to a third world island. (Did you know that island fever is a real thing?) No one spoke English. Even the alphabet was literally, all Greek to me. There was not a single Target, Wal Mart or McDonalds on the entire island. Moving to Germany the next year seemed like a cake walking paradise.

Financial matters

Living for many years on an airman’s salary. Again, thank you United States Air Force

Paying for college. In more ways than one. 

We’ve bought three homes and seem to have mastered the motto “Buy high, sell low” yes, that is not a typo. Oh and they were fixer uppers. (Pictures of smiling couples working happily side by side are photo shopped people.)

The economy taking a nose dive and my career with it.

Circles of Life

Hospitalized in a foreign ICU with Salmonella poisoning.

The deaths of a few friends and several dearly loved family members. (Grief can make you crazy.)

Infertility

Three rounds of IVF treatments. (A hormonal roller coasting nightmare.)

A high risk pregnancy.

A premature baby who wouldn’t sleep.

A toddler who wouldn’t sleep.

A child….well, you get the idea.

Insomnia is now a friend of mine.

Too tired for anything.

A teenage girl. (Nuff said.)

Career changes and the mid life crisis that can follow. (Can also file under the category of moving.)

A pre teen boy. (Nuff said.)

IMG_7669-1

People leaving dirty dishes in a clean sink when the dishwasher is right there! The strange notion that I am the only one qualified to take out the trash. Ditto on emptying the foul smelling contents of the laundry hamper into the washer. 

A perimenopausal woman. (Nuff said.)

I could go on and on. Really I could, but I think you might be too tired too.

worn out

Each of those things could have spelled THE END. IF we’d wanted them to.

I can’t speak for Mr. Décor. I can only remember the exact moment that I decided how I was going to roll with the punches life packs. 

I was at the 5th month mark of wedded bliss. I had rubbed my snotty nose on my sleeve for like the 500th time in the two months since arriving in a God forsaken place that time forgot. I was once again fixing dinner (spaghetti) on the outdoor BBQ grill since my stovetop wasn’t working and the landlord had told me it would be fixed “ αύριο" (pronounced “ a vree o ” ~ meaning tomorrow) for the past 4 weeks. My 9 year old daughter was lonely, I was lonely. Everyone I could call was sleeping on the other side of the world since my one local friend had up and left the island, and her soldier husband, because “She couldn’t take it anymore.”  It was cold and our heating tank of oil had just ran out. The rooftop water container was also almost empty. I opened a can I thought read spaghetti sauce and had dumped it into the pot then realized it had turned out to be some sort of sea creature (octopus?) in tomato sauce.

  Rivers of tears I tell you. Snot everywhere.

The goat tied to the olive tree in the front yard bellowed along with me.

Our darling Nanny

I looked over across the road and saw our neighbor Sophia gathering firewood. She was mounding it up in her front yard fire pit. She saw me and waved, sending out a happy “ Γεια σου(pronounced “ ya sue” , meaning hello)

She then called out for Russo her husband. He happily came out lugging the world largest cast iron pot. They filled it up with water and Sophia proceeded to then wash their clothes while Russo headed off to the outhouse

Russo, Maria (Russo’s sister) and Sophia

Humbling facts:

I had a washing machine in the bathroom INSIDE our house.

Sophia was 85 years old at the time. Russo was 90.

For better, but probably more like worse~ according to a spoiled American~ those two had worked together for at least 60 years.

It was not lost on me that:

There are other people who have it harder (much harder) than I ever will.

They make the best of what they have. For better or worse.

Mr. Décor, myself and the Fashionista in Xania’s  (Hon yah) harbor.

It’s no secret that Mr. Décor and I are currently on what appears an endless journey of Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride. But every morning I look at him and say “I love you.” He does the same for me. Together we decide that we are going to make it through just this one day and it’s enough.

The days eventually add up.

Happy Anniversary Mr. Décor. Thank you for 14 adventure filled years. Here’s to one more day with you.

Our one year anniversary photo on Santorini.

Σ ' αγαπώ ο σύζυγός μου.

Γυναίκα σου

43 comments :

Kirby Dunton Carespodi said...

Congratulations! Best Wishes! Happy Goats! Yay!

Modern Country Lady said...

awwwwww what a lovely post !!! congrats and many more HAPPY years.xxx

Kelley said...

I absolutely love this post! The photos are remarkable, and for you, such special memories.

May you enjoy 14 x 14 more happy anniversaries!

Jennifer Watkins-Jones said...

I love this for so many reasons, most of all because of the never-give-up attitude! So many people just want to throw in the towel before the real adventures begin!. Happy, Happy anniversary and sending warm wishes for so many more!!

Milijana Petrovic said...

Beautiful post! Just what I needed to read, as I'm going through some hard times. feels like world is crushing sometimes.
Love how you two decided to "make it through just this one day" ... I could try that, too!

Thank you!
And congratulations!! :)

Perfectly Printed said...

Happy Anniversary!! What a wonderful post! No matter what you keep picking yourself up and moving on!
Can you say faith?

Chris

Kathy @ Creative Home Expressions said...

Happy Anniversary, Laura!

Ricki Jill Treleaven said...

:D Happy Anniversary!!! I hope you enjoy the day!

xo,
Ricki Jill

Julie Tucker-Wolek said...

Beautiful story!!!! Happy Anniversary!!

Linda said...

Dear Laura,
I'm reading your post saying "Amen, amen, amen", in full agreement.

I learned the hard way. My first marriage obviously didn't work out and it was majorly my doing. I made choices that many would tsk tsk at, but somehow God forgave and life moved on. This year is 10 years of marriage for Jim and I and this is a major milestone in my life because it's the longest I've stayed married and one of the longest relationships I've been in. Still, I've felt the same way as you many, many times, but yes - it's a choice and we choose to love despite the obstacles of life.

Congratulations to you and Mr. Decor on your wonderful Anniversary! ♥♥♥ Much love and blessings to you always,
Linda

Meredith said...

What a wonderful post - thanks for sharing!! Congratulations and hope you have many, many more happy years together.

Lisa@Pickles and Cheese said...

Congratulations and Happy Anniversary! You have a delightful story to tell. I enjoyed every word!

It's All Connected said...

That is very well said, Laura! I believe that is the truth of how a good relationship endures. Unfortunately, my ex husband didn't have the same beliefs. lol ~ Maureen

Creations By Cindy said...

What a wonderful post this morning! Enjoyed this very much! Congratulations to both of you! Hugs and blessings, Cindy

Michele @ The Nest at Finch Rest said...

Best wishes for many more wonderful and happy healthy years together.

I needed this.

Well written, and so personal and from the heart.....well done.

And you two are beautiful, and your children as well.

Blessings to you all!

Bloggymom said...

Happy Anniversary!!!

joleneotten said...

Congratulations on your anniversary!
Thank you for a beautiful, honest post. Attitude is everything!

Cottage and Broome said...

Happy Anniversary!!!! Married life is always filled with challenges, sound like you had more than your fair share. Enjoy, Laura

Pat@Life At Lydias House said...

Happy anniversary! In the day of disposable marriages it is so refreshing to see someone who has what it takes to stick with it! I hope that you have a wonderful day!

Karena said...

Happy Anniversary my dear. Every time I see a photo of you and the Mister I know you belong together!! God Bless You!

I hope you will come see my Annie Sloan Projects revealed!
xoxo
Karena
Art by Karena

Priscilla said...

Congratulations.
I know it has been worth it.
This year would have been our 48th year, if my husband had lived past his 49th birthday.
You are blessed.

Johanna said...

Hi Laura,
your post made me smile! Congratulations to your anniversary and luck for the both of your for the rest of your life. I have been once in Xania, too. Nice memories.
Best greetings, Johanna

Pam~ Virginia Retro said...

Oh, lovin' your wonderful post! It's so full of life's truisms. Thanks for sharing your story & congrats on your 14th Anniversary!

Ceekay- Thinkin of Home said...

Your title pulled me in!

Happy Anniversary! You guys deserve a nice quiet dinner someplace...

My husband always tells me, I promised you it wouldn't be boring. I am abundantly and exceeding blessed in that department!!

Lady Dorothy said...

It is all about attitude, isn't it? A great lesson learned that will follow you forever in everything you do.

Happy, happy anniversary!

Lorrie said...

Congratulations Laura and Mr Decor! Happiest of anniversaries to you both. This is such a great post - all engaged couples should read it every year. Commitment is not a walk in the park.

I noticed your mention of IVF, and hormonal hell (I typed yell first, most appropriately). Our eldest daughter has just gone through this and I am so happy to say that they are expecting a little girl in June. We are all so excited.

Have a wonderful day celebrating!

Maria Elena said...

What a beautiful post! And everything you said is sooo true!
I have the United States Army to thank! LOL Happy Anniversary to you both!

Craftymoose Crafts said...

Congratulations to both of you!

Shenita @ Embellishments by SLR said...

What a great post!! Happy Anniversary; and I wish you MANY, MANY more!!

Vicki said...

Happy Anniversary! Sounds like the past 14 years have been quite an adventure providing you with some terrific memories (and lots of teachable moments!) Hang in there... Dan & I have adopted the philosophy of one of his elderly customers at Sam's Club "All my worst days are behind me", it helps!

Ann@A Sentimental Life said...

happy anniversary! I would say you have been through the mill but I understand sometimes those things just make us closer.

Daffodil Hill said...

You have inherited the writing talents of your famous ancestor. I love this post for so many reasons, but mostly because you tell it like it is:-)

Bettyann said...

what a wild ride..the best is yet to come..take care..

The Polka Dot Closet said...

What a fun post, of course we always want what we don't have and I would love to have had the adventure in my life that you have had! Happy Anniversary!

Carol

Betty said...

Happy Anniversary to you and Mr. Decor. As a friend of mine says to me. It's the same next door. I just love that. I have a saying too. I think about it for 5 minutes and get over it. Life is a journey. My sweetheart and I will celebrate 52 years of marriage on July 17th. 2012.
We celebrated our 50th Wedding Anniversary in Santorini. I think Greece is so beautiful with the white houses and blue roofs. Life is like a wave and there are highs and lows. Thank you for writing about your marriage and your life. I love your blog and your wonderful humor!!!
xo
Betty

Mimi said...

EVERY YOUNG MARRIED couple should read this!!!I should say EVERY MARRIED couple should read this!!!TIL DEATH DO US PART...not because it's hard or any other easy answer.....
GOOD for you, what an example you show to everyone!!
CONGRATS!!!
AND GOD BLESS you too!!!
Love ya,
jamie

Debbie said...

I think this is my favorite love/marriage/anniversary post that I've read in Blog Land. I really love it, and HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!

Teresa said...

That's the best one can do in all relations that involve human beings, emotions own and others' - take one day and get on with it and then go to bed and wait for what God Works during the night for us to the next... and the next... and then the next.

Yes, many have it harder. So much more seem to have it easier. But no one with such Faith, Hope and Love as you do.

Happy Anniversary to The Decors!

Σ 'αγαπώ
φίλος

openid said...

Laura,

Happy Anniversary! Your post reminds me of a memorable quote from the movie Parenthood:
[Gil has been complaining about his complicated life; Grandma wanders into the room]
Grandma: You know, when I was nineteen, Grandpa took me on a roller coaster.
Gil: Oh?
Grandma: Up, down, up, down. Oh, what a ride!
Gil: What a great story.
Grandma: I always wanted to go again. You know, it was just so interesting to me that a ride could make me so frightened, so scared, so sick, so excited, and so thrilled all together! Some didn't like it. They went on the merry-go-round. That just goes around. Nothing. I like the roller coaster. You get more out of it.

Enjoy the Roller Coaster!

Love,
Deborah
FairfieldHouseNJ.com

Maria (Magia Mia) said...

Congratulations on one more day, Laura!

That was a wonderful story, full of harrowing curves, with dashes of charm and adventure.

I think the best "pearl" of that story, is the reminder of what you've already been through, and actually survived. We all have a database of our past, to access any time we need perspective. Those things that completely overwhelmed us, and yet, here we are, still alive to talk about it. A good lesson for all of us.......

Jill Elaine said...

Great post! well said! The love you have for your husband has always come through on your blog:) You are such a cute couple.
God be with you each and every day.

Auntie Em said...

Hope you had a special and loving anniversary! :)

Danielle said...

I love this post for many reasons but mostly because of your honesty. Marriage is hard work, but with enough love and a sense of humor (which you obviously have : ) it's wonderful. Your children are lucky because you've been through it all so you will be able to help them through anything in the future!

Happy Anniversary to you both~

Danielle xo