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Saturday, February 12, 2011

Let’s Talk About Love

I don’t normally post on the weekend. I made the decision early on in blogging that I would instead spend time with my guy and his mini me and mine. But I was pulled out of bed in the wee small hours of the morning wanting to talk about love. Yes, this involves a story.  As Red Smith once said, “Writing is easy, you just sit down at a typewriter, open up a vein, and bleed it out drop by drop.”  And so it goes.

Yesterday I received a card from my Grandma Jingles who will turn 89 on her next birthday. It is a simple card. Perhaps even one that my young son could have created. But it is beautiful and precious to me and I know someday someone will be cleaning out my house and will come across this gem that I will forever treasure.
h 007
But here’s a little secret. I demanded that love which is now so easy and evident for all the world to see. Yes, you read that right: I DEMANDED LOVE. Because if I had waited for it, it’s possible that it never would have arrived. You see a few years ago I was looking around and found that somehow all the immediate members of my biological family (my children excluded) had passed away. Save for one~ my paternal grandmother. Other than an annual exchange of Christmas and birthday cards, we didn’t have any type of relationship.
 
I decided that I wanted my children to meet her. (Deep down I think that I was looking for more, but in protecting my heart I would not admit it.)  So I called my grandmother up and said “We are coming to visit you.” That’s right, I didn’t ask, I just informed. We flew a few thousand miles and the visit was good. A small crack in the ice developed and we both were curious to see what was under it. After I returned home our cards and letters to one another picked up in frequency.

A year later I went to see her again and I went alone.  I decided to address the big, scary, fat elephant that we both knew was in the room. I asked her why after my parents died was I put into foster care. She gave me an answer that satisfied me and we moved on. Since then I have continued to show up. I have helped move her four times in the past two years as we struggled to find a place where the food was good and there were plenty of activities to keep her socially active self busy. Given that now I often get her answering machine when I ring her, I think that this last move has been good. Although trying to move an 88 year old woman while still wrangling my 8 year old son was no picnic. (smile)
east coast trip 026


The funny thing about love is that you never know where it might show up. It is all around us just for the taking. We sometimes are faced with the hard task of reaching out for it. There is also the realistic fear that time is never on the side of love. Of knowing that because our hearts have touched another there is a possibility that a day will come when the heart will shatter into a million pieces. But I say the risk is worth it.
What about you?
Laura 

60 comments :

Ann@A Sentimental Life said...

Laura, I have a tear in my eye. Bless you for seeking her out and forging that relationship. I understand how having all your relatives gone, except my brother I do too. I always think I am too young for that. So I am always working on my genealogy and finding new lost cousins. Some may be a 4-5 cousin but we find a connection and truly feel like family.

Cherish that card like I know you will. Happy Valentines, Ann

Marydon said...

G'morn my friend ~ What a loving & beautiful story ... G'ma looks very happy with your son ... cute picture.
So glad that she was able to fill your heart with the answers you needed to know. What a wonderful love you share ...

Having met you personally, your love is so inviting, warm & real ... I was blessed in your presence.

Happy Valentine's, my precious friend ~
TTFN ~
Hugs,
Marydon

fairfieldhousenj.com said...

Laura,

I am so happy that you were able to reconnect with your Grandma Jingles and that the two of you share such a sweet relationship. I agree. The blogging community is filled with clever, creative, generous people and my heart has been touched by many of them. Yours included.
When all is said and done, love - giving and receiving unconditional love - is the ONLY thing that matters.

Your Friend,
Deborah

Holly said...

Hi Laura~
Wow! You touched the hearts of many as you shared your story. Sometiems we have to take that courageous step. Thank you for sharing!
Happy Pink Saturday!

Cindy Adkins said...

Oh my gosh, Laura, what a heart-warming story...and it was so important that you made that connection. It is so special.

And I agree with you about the people we meet on the internet...The people I meet on here know more about me than my neighbors! And friendship has no boundaries.

Thank you for this beautiful post...it warmed my heart today.

Wishing you a Happy Valentine's Day.
XO

Tammy@Beatrice Banks said...

Such a heartwarming story. You revealed a lot of yourself in this post and it makes me like you even more! You are so genuine. Even though you are blessed by your grandma, I say she's doubly blessed for you having pushed the relationship forward. If more people could do that, what a happy world this would be.
ITA, the risk is always worth it!
Have a sweet weekend!
Tammy

Connie said...

What a post, sugar!!! Wow! Sometimes we don't get to "see the heart" of some people, but you laid yours on the line in this post. Of course, I never knew that about your life but it had to have been scary to post it. I wish you love and happiness, sweetpea. Sounds like you've got your head on straight.
xoxo,
Connie

racheld said...

Oh, Laura---no violins or slow-runs across the meadow, but a lovely meeting nonetheless. My heart holds you today, in the losses you have experienced, and my eyes and mind see the lovely life that YOU have established. Just You.

I'm sort of on the other spectrum---the oldest member of our immediate family, and I work every day to be the best, closest, most loving Ganjin I can be.

What an accomplishment, and what a Hero you must be to your family and friends and readers.

I've marked your site, to return and read and look my eyes full of your beautiful creations and photos.

Thank you so much for visiting Lawn Tea.

rachel

PS And pray, what is that exquisitely gorgeous disarray of a desk? It's the most intriguing thing I've seen this Pink Saturday.

NanE said...

Hi Laura, I really enjoyed your post today! This is my first visit to your blog and I can't wait to have a look around after seeing the Valentine treats you created! Have a Happy Valentines Day! Nan

dreams on 34th street said...

Laura,
Such a lovely story...this is the time for heartfelt tales of love. I am so enjoying my visits to blogland this week! Have a lovely weekend! *Lynne*

Blessedmom's Simple Home said...

What a beautiful story Laura!! Your wonderful capacity for love comes forth in this post. Thank you so much for sharing.
You are so right about our blogging friends too. We share with each other and pray for one another. What a blessing my blogging friends are :-)
Blessings,
Marcia

ImagiMeri said...

Dearest Laura,

How brave of you! You went after love and found it, not many are successful at doing that. Also, having met you, I can see that you've got all the warmth and loving needed to reach out, and I pray that you are always greeted with such and that your gifts are returned in kind.

Love ya'
Meri

Karena said...

Laura this is such a poignant story. So wonderful to see a realtionship mending.

I am always open to love, your words " I demanded it" really open my eyes, Thank you this is truly a gift!

xoxo
Karena
Art by Karena

Terri said...

Laura,

Your post really touched my heart. I have found so much love and friendship through my blogging buddies and it has greatly enriched my life in many ways. There has been a lot of ugliness in my family since my dad passed away, with lots of unresolved feelings amongst some of my siblings that are expressed with mean words that hurt deeply. So logging on to my computer and having friends who support me is such a blessing. I am so glad that you have established a relationship with your grandma. And thanks for being one of the first bloggers out there to pique my interest in blogging....

Dumbwit Tellher said...

Laura thank you for breaking your 'weekend rule' & taking the time to compose this beautiful post. I did not know you lost your parents and especially so young; cannot imagine. I would of never imagined asking for love but you are so right. I guess I've been trying to ask for more love from my brothers. Still working on it. All my best for a weekend filled with the love of your family. xo xo Deb

The Boston Lady said...

Laura, this was another layer I have learned about you. I have always felt that forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. That seems to be quite true in this case as you have been rewarded with a relationship that means so much to you as well as getting an answer to a question that surely troubled you for many years. And love is all we need.... Ann

Jingle said...

rocking tale on love.
love and be loved, bless you.

Liz said...

I think that Valentine is just perfect! I would treasure it also... Both of my sets of grands are long gone. All four died in my early adulthood. I think that if they were still alive I would have a very different relationship with them. Much more 2 sided than the 1 sided relationship from when I was young. I had wonderful Grandparents and miss them terribly. You were so smart to forge that relationship! :)

Happy Valentine's Day!
~Liz

sueskitchen said...

Laura, This post was so beautifully written! The funny thing about love is that it isn't always what we would expect! Once we step out of our box, a whole different kind of world awaits. Thank you for writing about your relationship with your grandmother...clearly, it was up to you to get things rolling. Wishes for a very happy Valentines Day.
♥, Susan

Look in the Nook said...

This is a beautiful post. Thanks for sharing.

Happy Valentine's Day!
ENJOY,
Jany
Don't forget to "Look in the Nook".

Pat @ Mille Fiori Favoriti said...

Beautifully told story, Laura. It's so good you reached out to your grandmother, not only for yourself, but also for your children.
Happy Pink Saturday and Happy Valentines' Day!

BEAR's Mom said...

Laura, stopping by via Pink Saturday...but I know it won't be my last stop. You've touched my heart...wrote so many things that I have been thinking about...people who you see day to day don't seem to care as much as those you MEET on the net. I've told things to eFriends that I never told to my kids...and, as I find myself the OLDEST of the family, I dare say I thought about venturing out and finding cousins and others...maybe there's still a chance. Happy Valentine's Day =)
~victoria~

p.s. Deb aka Garage Sale Gal is a special friend...and SWEET PEA =)

Donnie said...

What a sweet post. Happy Valentine's Day and Pink Saturday.

The French Bear said...

Good for you Laura, I know how tough that must have been. Not sure why it is so hard to get some family members to respond to love....I have some in my family that are like that...I keep trying even though they never call back, ignore emails and make excuses.....
You son is a darling...look at him, so cute!!!
Hugs,
Margaret B

Marina Capano said...

Happy Valentine's Day and Happy pink saturday!

so cute pink post, just beautiful, beautiful, beautiful!

xoxo

BonjourRomance said...

What a beautiful story Laura. Love come in many shapes and sizes dosen't it. I am so happy you now have a good relationship with Gramndma Jingles. I understand perefectly what you mean about all the love and friendship in blogland, it has been an icnredible experience.
Wishing you a Happy Valentine's Day!
Mimi

LV said...

A very touching and loving post in honor of people where love is abundant. Very nicely done and something everyone should consider doing more.

Mimi said...

HI!!
LOVED THIS POST!!
LOVE you too!!!
ANd YES, LOVE IS ALL AROUND US< we just have to open up our hearts and receive and or Give it!!
Hugs 2 U,
jamie

Shirley said...

Dear Laura,
Your Grandmother is beautiful. Your son is so handsome. Life is Good. Today is the day that counts.
Yesterday counted too, but it is now gone and today has replaced it. Tomorow we hope will replace today but we have not been promised it will arrive. Make today the best day ever..and it looks like you have.
Yours Sincerely,
Shirley

Julie Tucker-Wolek said...

And this is one of the million reasons I love and admire you! I still get giddy every time I think about the time I got to meet you! You are AMAZING and GRACIOUS and one of the most BEAUTIFUL women I know! Beautiful story and loveeeeeeee the happy mail! :):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)

Rebecca said...

Laura-your post has touched me as I know it has others. You are so right that love is there for the taking-we just have to do it. In today's life-we sometimes let it pass by. Bravo to you for being the one to take the first step and in so-you gained a wonderful reward. I'll be back often-love your thoughts-Happy Valentine's Day!

Jil~Say It With Roses said...

What a lovely story and brave, too! Your Grandmother is so blessed to have you in her life and I hope she realizes what a loving and caring person you are!
Your son is a real cutie!
Jil

Tallulah's Antique Closet said...

I luv your Valentine decor! Thank You for stopping by. Have a great evening....Julian

The Pennington Point said...

Oooh, I'm so glad you broke your rule and wrote on a weekend. It's just what I needed...to remember who really loves me. You're the best! Lisa~

Linda M. said...

Thanks for sharing your story Laura. We were foster parents to three children. We were able to adopt one child who blessed us with grandchildren and a great grandchild. Family is important to me. Our journey through life makes us who we are. Happy Pink Saturday and Happy Valentine's Day. Hugs,Linda

Nita {ModVintageLife} said...

THis is a beautiful story you shared. How you forgave and moved forward and have a loving relationship with her now. The present is all that matters. Everyone makes the best decisions they can and they are not always the right ones. It is so nice that you renewed your relationship with her.

Olivia said...

Oh my what a sweet and beautiful post! So true about love! I love people very hard...many times I realize that it is a good chance that I probably loved them more than they were able to handle. Oh well, I put it out there! Happy Valentines Day!
Hugs,
Olivia

suesueb said...

What a brave and beautiful story. Family is precious and your search and strong faith in love certainly paid off. I wish you many more years of love with your grandmother and of course your own family. Thanks for visiting me and Happy pink Valentine's Day!! Love all your valentines!

Kathleen said...

Very pretty!
Thank you for visiting my blog.

I did not know about the tea, I am writing it down.

Happy ♥ Day!

LaVerne said...

Laura, Nice to meet you. I just came from Nancy's blog after she had called me to share her excitement over the amazing swap box you had assembled and sent. Your creations are wonderful.
Congratulations on seeking out a stronger relationship with your grandmother. That first step is the hardest, but look at the example you have set for your children. From you they will learn the value of family and the importance of forgiveness. I serve as a children's advocate with CASA and I share the difficulty of decisions that affect children's lives forever. Adults do the best they can, but children have such a different perspective. Your lesson is one that will help me in my cases. Thanks for sharing it.

Gabriela Delworth said...

Happy Pink Saturday!

What a wonderful story!



~ Gabriela ~

thriftshopadventures said...

A WONDERFUL STORY THE ONE OF YOUR GRANDMA. Great post!

Teresa said...

Dearest Laura,
I'm going to sound brutal but I'm glad you missed Love in your Life and opened yourself for it in such generous and grand way.
Some other people would have run for cover and bitterly accepted the misfortune. So glad you didn't - for your Gradmother, for your Kids, for YOU and for all of us that are welcomed with the same generosity and care everytime we spend time around you here in the blog.
God Bless Your Generous Heart.
(I've been quite away from www so I'm probably too late to say I LOVE the PINK theme on the Blog - another generosity of yours in creating a sooting and lovely corner in the "jungle")
Yours, wishing Happy Valentine's,
Teresa

maiaT said...

Beautiful post with so many lovely pictures.
Happy Valentine's Day!

racheld said...

And thank you again---for visiting DYED IN THE COTTON---it's mostly just a site I reserved to secure the title, and is mostly about REAL Southern things, especially the people made up of folks I've known, or composites of several, who reside in the little town of Paxton, MS---also made up.

I had no idea anyone would choose that site to look in on this Pink Saturday, but coincidentally, I HAD featured an old pink door of a long-defunct night spot from WAY down in the Delta.

I'm so glad you dropped in!

rachel

Lynn's Little Cottage said...

I totally agree! Love can come at the most unexpected times and people! Blessings to you, Lynn

Daphne Nicole & Lynda Cade said...

Hi Laura, what a very touching story... sometimes it's really hard to take that first step, not knowing how the outcome will be, good for you reaching out to your grandmother! So glad that everything turned out so good!!! I wanted to thank you for the invitation to High Tea Tablescapes! I love your blog and will be your newest follower!!!
Blessings~~~ Daphne

Susie Jefferson said...

A wise and wonderful post, and oh so true. Thank you so much for visiting and leaving a comment. Sorry I'm late, I was teaching yesterday (Saturday) and we've been out for Valentine's lunch today (Sunday) so only just started visiting! Happy Pink Weekend, and hugs from the UK.

gail said...

Hi Laura,,, What a pretty post. I always love visiting your blog. I have the English Tea on my calendar. I do plan to attend and I think it will be sooo much fun! I grabbed the button and have added it my blog as well. I will do some posting about it as well.

Thanks so much, have a pretty day.
(()) Gail

Jacalyn @ rmebathproducts.com said...

What a truly wonderful post! I am so glad you demanded that love from your grandma and I bet she's glad too!

Hugs,
jacalyn

alicesg said...

Lovely post about your grandma. Happy Valentine's Day.

Jillian said...

Definitely a story about LOVE! The unconditional kind... like God has for us. Aweseome post. So glad you took the risk.

Thank you for stopping by to leave a sweet comment about my Gramma's passing.

Jillian
Bella Rosa Antiques

Jill said...

A very moving story. I love it.

Manni said...

Laura, you are amazing. I loved your post and what it means. The last paragraph had me think that you're right. I'm so happy to have found you:)
Thanks for posting on my blog. Im a new follower and can't wait for your next post. You truly are inspiring! Keep up the good work:)
hugs
Manni
www.ibakecakes-manni.blogspot.com

La Vie Quotidienne said...

What a beautiful, heart felt story. Love is such a precious thing and we all need it in our lives. Thank you for sharing this and thank you also for visiting me.

languageofcolorandtexture said...

Love is definitely worth the risk, because without love what are we truly? I love your blog and your beautiful sole Laura!Happy Valentine's Day!!!!!!!!!!!

Stephanie ~ Angelic Accents said...

LOVE this post! And thanks so much for stopping by to visit with me and your sweet comments.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Big TX Hugs,
Stephanie
Angelic Accents

Tiffanee said...

What a heartwarming post!! Love the Valentine. It will be one to treasure always!

Marcy said...

What a special story! I featured your blog today on stylesson.com. I am enjoying your Royal Wedding Wednesday posts, too!

Jenni said...

Hi Laura~

This is a really touching post, and I loved reading this story about how you got to know your grandmother. And I so agree that loving people is worth all the risks that could come with it. Thank you for sharing your story with us. :)

Blessings,
Jenni