Sunday, June 27, 2010
Opening the Door to Possible Fear and Failure
I recently had an opportunity to meet an extraordinary individual. We are currently trying to rent out the second room of the Fashionista’s condo which is close to ASU. A gentleman brought his only child, a lovely girl, to see the place. The knock on the door prompted sweet boy to answer it. I heard my little boy pause for just a moment and then say, “Hi, welcome to my sister’s place. Come on in.” I quickly realized why my son had paused as I crossed the room. My own heart quickly switched to a loving and welcoming mode as I carefully shook our guests hand and looked him in the eye. “Welcome, I said. We are so glad you are here. Let me tell you both a bit about the place.”
After leading him through the kitchen and other rooms of the tiny apartment we talked about the area, the neighbors and our daughters. The conversation was light and easy. After about an hour he suddenly became serious. “My doctor recently asked me if I would speak at a camp for children who have been horribly burned like myself. I didn’t think I could do it. I rarely place myself in positions where people can look at me~ possibly recoil from me. This was like a test to see if I could do it. To go into a situation with an unknown person and see their reaction. I couldn’t believe that your little boy opened the door to me. I can’t tell you who the last stranger was that looked me in the eye.”
I told him that I have tried to instill in my children the knowledge that everyone has scars. Some are just hidden inside where they cannot be seen. I shared with him a bit of my own background and he was stunned. I believe that his own words were “But, you’re so Donna Reed!” We laughed and I went on to say that I too often kept the door closed on situations where there was a possibility of fear and failure. It made me sad and disappointed in myself to say this out loud. I was all to guilty of wearing this protective device. We then agreed that we had to use our experiences to bless others. It is my prayer that Craig did go and give young burn victims hope that everything will be ok. I went home and made an audition tape for Oprah. Scratching your head yet?
I’ve been having a sort of inner battle and questioning myself for awhile. The kind of questions such as “Am I headed in the right direction?” In His infinite grace I was once placed me in a situation where a woman in my bible study asked me how I could be involved in a profession that is so blatantly not for the glory of God. My first reaction was that I was crushed. My second reaction was that I needed to pray. I was led to Exodus 36 and continued reading for several chapters. For those of you not familiar with these passages, they cover the most minute of details given by God to Moses regarding the construction of His temple. A tabernacle so glorious I cannot even fathom what it might have looked like. But what I took away is that God IS the ultimate interior designer. Not just of temples, but of souls. I am indeed made in His image and filled with the confidence that I am on the path headed towards where He wants me to go.
Granted my path is currently somewhat hidden. There is much work that needs to be done. But I believe that beauty lies waiting. Faith will always carry me through any possible fear and failure.
Mr. Decor recently asked “What do you want to be when you grow up?” This is a valid question as I dabble in quite a lot. Like so many others I haven’t had a paying job in over a year. But mortgages and car payments continue on. I need to do something and soon. I was then asked “If you could do anything, what would you do?” I thought that if I were given the choice between a high paying design job in a million dollar home with an unlimited budget or a complete wreck of a house with a little budget that housed a lovely, deserving person my choice would be quick and easy.
I have no desire to be rich or famous. Truly, my greatest desire is to be a blessing to others and of course I have small dreams like putting my kids through college. I believe that beauty can be had with a bit of creativity and hard work. If you rescue previously unloved treasures you can stay within budget and also help the planet. This is a win~win situation. So my mission is to try and figure out how I can bless others with the gifts that I have and still make a living. I imagine that what I need is a sponsor to help open those doors.
I have said before that I rarely watch tv. Most of what I find on tv is depressing and uninspiring.
But what if there was a show where you would be shown how to take an everyday object that was readily available, for very little money and transform it into something lovely. Would you watch?
What if each episode also featured a blogger who shared a creation of their own clever ingenuity and imagination. Would you watch?
What if those things were then added to a room which was given a high quality, yet low budget redesign of the space. It would be for someone truly deserving. Someone who could greatly benefit from a little design pick me up. Would you watch?
You have a choice in what you want to see on your tv: beauty~ home ~ family ~ creativity ~ inspiration.
I am a REALISTIC DREAMER. I know that this pie in the sky dream is a long shot. The proverbial needle in a haystack. There is a very good chance that nothing will come of this, which of course will result in PUBLIC FAILURE ~something we all fear. But I am ok with that. I feel safe in the knowledge that I have sent my hopes and dreams out into the world instead of keeping them tightly within myself where they would never be realized. I just know that there are others who also believe and see value in these dreams too.
If we never attempt to fly, we surely will never soar.
No matter what, I am happy that I took a chance and will not live in the land of “What Might Have Been”. If I banish fear and failure, and open the door to my dreams, I just might discover that what lies waiting on the other side is not scary after all. It may be something rather delightfully unexpected and perhaps even perfectly charming.
What’s keeping you from opening your door? Live your dreams.